I Am

For the last two years, I have been taking a writing class, and that class is now over as of last week. What a wonderful way to transition into retirement. I will miss it, yet there is not a cold turkey ending per se. We will continue in a “master class” mode for another 6 months or so, and there are quite specific writing projects I have in mind that will keep me busy for a couple of years more.

Meanwhile, I’m going to post below the results of a silly class assignment. We were told to write five poems quickly. Very quickly – about 5 minutes writing time for each one. The structure for the assignment was to pump out metaphors around the topic “I am….” And away we go!

Numero Uno

I am the beast unknown but curious

I am the shelter from falling branches

I am the potato in the soup

I am the salad on the side

I am the sir without the loin

I am the best amongst the fallen throng

I am the worst amongst the hopeless racers

I am the last dish in the buffet.

Numero Dos

I am solid like plasma

I am liquid like gold

I am frequently timid while deliberately bold

I am a racehorse for the masses

A disappointment to the rich

I am asparagus, ling cod…

Belgian endive?

Still searching for my niche.

Numero Tres

I am a louse, but lice would be nice.

I am a soldier, but an army would be bolder.

I am a ciggy, but a pack would be biggie.

I am a setter, but the pound would bark better.

I am a tour car, but a convoy would drive her more far

I am a setting sun, but a shining moon would give him more fun

I am a sluggish, roguish, selfish shaman

I am a salty, pungent, slippery bowl, of 40 cents a package, Sapporo Ichiban Original Ramen.

Numero Cuatro

I am like a hermit crab

I am like a sponge

I am like a snowy plover

I am Bach to Grunge

I am like a Solzhenitsyn before he got all nutty

I am like the Andrew Sisters before they got all slutty

I am like my dog, you see, before he learned to beg

I am like my mom or pop, just longer in the leg.

I am like myself it seems, more frequently than not

I am like myself, oh my, a slender, drunken sot.

Numero Cinco

I am Wonder Woman in a caftan

I am Wonder Bread with a crispy crust

I am a cedar forest on the Great Plains

I am a Sitka Spruce lost in lust

I am a soldier on a game show

I am a game show host at war

And if momma saw me, she would say

You are nothing like me at all.